Saturday, May 12, 2012

Joe "Zorro" Maalouf, our new Savior

After MTV's Anta Hurr(You're free) episode, sexurity forces are storming Tripoli shutting down cinemas that screen erotic content as reported by Al-Safir.
All hail our new savior, Joe "Zorro" Maalouf for cleaning our cities from pornography and masturbation!
Zorro, and ex-Aljarass news reporter, is a professional rumor mill and cheap story sensationalist. As required by Aljaras high standards, he should be an eminent sexologist with a major in scandalogy. I propose him starting a new career as a sexandalogist teaching our younger generations the art of cheapness, وخذوا ما يدهش العالم.
While watching his journalistic marvel, I couldn't help but cry at the peak of his ramble when he stated he had to remove the sound of "Adhan" from the footage and started a religious puritanical crusade on the deviant society urging the Cheikhs to act at once.
I can't imagine that people masturbate in the first place, but people masturbating while others are praying!! Blasphemy! Brothers and sisters, this should end now! Death to the blasphemers in the name of God's messenger Zorro!

We can now all sleep better because we are more free(like the program's title). Free from people masturbating, free from pornography, free from gay sex!! All of that thanks to Zorro our savior.
Our country is sinking in religious war, bigotry, corruption and a man can proudly slap his wife forcing her to please his carnal desires. But hey! at least we got rid of porn and masturbation!

I announce today to be the national porn day, let's all watch as much porn as possible while masturbating. Where the hell are the tissues when you need them!?


  1. Retardology is the global study, he's specialized in Sexandology. Other retardologists specialize in politics or theology for example.

  2. A message from MTV Lebanon’s Jyad Murr to the LGBT community

    This is shared unedited and as it was received by Mr. Jyad Murr on our Lebanese LGBT Media Monitor:

    Photo source: Public Facebook Profile of Mr. Jyad Murr

    “I would also like to share a discussion I had with a friend on a clip that mtv and all other channels passed long time ago: Hi … , I know that the clip is not nice and it passed long ago on mtv and all tv channels in Lebanon and the arab world and is not passing anymore, this is the case for any new clip for a known artist and this artist is popular and known. But there is a strange campaign of accusations just against mtv, as if mtv is homophobe or racist or whatever, and i’m sure you know that mtv is not. There is a campaign each week to discredit a successful tv station. They start digging examples from the past, once for an old comedy sketch a la cage des folles, or once for a hidden cam report done 3 month ago in Tripoli, etc.. Didn’t we do a hidden cam, on drugs, on Prisons, on prostitution etc etc.. We will keep on doing special reports like any good tv station in the world does. MTV in no way encourages discrimination –including discrimination due to sexual orientation. We regret that this debate has come into question. MTV condemns the actions of the police force and certainly endorses the call for the immediate and safe release of the remaining men being held in custody. Going back to the video clip in question, Just remember that the guy in this clip did a very controversial song before about “women to stay home and not work”, just to create controversy, and women laughed in his face, and even one of them did a clip against him to say that he is from the stone ages, but women in general didn’t start attacking us for discrimination… anyway, I hope that some of you will start realising that this is a campaign against mtv and stops helping the instigators spreading it”

    He adds in a second comment:

    “and with another friend: Hi … don’t want to keep answering or defending, I gave my point of view, but let’s stop the paranoia please, each time a word is used in a report doesn’t mean it is accusing a group of people, unless they are Paranoiac as I said. If you see a homosexual or a Heterosexual masturbating in a movie theatre, you would say “shefna Chazz” etc :) so please stop this nonsense”

  3. It is very simply! Zoro ma 3imloulo wa7ad bi tripoli fa he got frustrated w arrar yinti2im...inno "desperate housewives" style !