Tuesday, May 22, 2012

منطق شادي ومنطق الدولة


ما هي الدولة وما وظيفتها.
الدولة الحديثة هي مجموعة من المشرّعين, الإداريّين والمحكِّمين ولكل منهم مؤسّسة أي مجلس النوّاب, مجلس الوزراء والقضاء. هذه المؤسّسات لها وظيفة سنّ القانون, فرضه وتحكيم الخلافات حسب نفس القانون. أما منطق الدولة, فهو مفهوم أفضليّة إرادة الدولة على الأفراد والمجموعات.
ما هو منطق شادي ومن لفّ لفيفه؟ منطق هؤلاء هو منطق الفرد داخل المجموعة. أي أنه بإمكان إرادة شلّة من الزعران وكم فطعة سلاح أن تفرض نفسها على باقي الأفراد والدولة على حد سواء.
من هو إدموند حدّاد؟ إدموند فنّان لبناني حكم عليه بالسجن شهر لأنه أظهر كلسون سوبرمان بتاعو على المسرح في حفل لجمع التبرعات. والحجة كانت الإخلال بالاداب العامّة.
ما هو تنّورة ماكسي؟ تنورة ماكسي هو فيلم لبناني منع من العرض بسبب "مسّه بالطائفة المسيحيّة". من منعه؟ الدولة, أكيد...

ما المشترك ما بين اولئك الحوادث؟ الدولة؟
ما الفارق ما بين المعنيين؟ الأول هو فرد مشبوه, والباقي أعمال فنية.
كيف تعاملت الدولة معهم؟
- الأول أفرج عنه تحت ضغط الرشاشات الغير قانونيّة وحرق الدواليب والتلطي خلف طائفته.
- الباقي أوقفوا تحت إسم نفس الطوائف التي تدعم أشخاص على أشكال الأوّل.

السؤال الكبير يطرح نفسه. هل سقط منطق الدولة؟ السؤال بحد ذاته مضلّل فيجب أن يكون : هل هنالك منطق الدولة في الأصل؟
ممّا تبيّن أعلاه أن منطق الطوائف أقوى من منطق الدولة, فالدولة تنصاع إلى رغبة الطوائف في كل مناسبة. وأكبر مثل عن ذلك ضم الدولة نفسها شلّة زعران وزعماء حرب لا يمكن محاسبتهم تحت حجة أنهم محسوبون على طوائفهم.

من هم العلمانيون؟ العلمانيّون هم شلّة ساذجة يحلموا بأن تفوق إرادتهم إرادة شادي وشلّته...
فما هو الحل؟ أيها العلمانيّون, كما تبرهن في كل مناسبة لبنانية, وحده السلاح وحرق الدواليب يصنع الفرق. إستيقذوا, إجلبوا إينيرغا وبعض القنابل اليدوية, دواليب باب أول ولاقوني على تمثال الشهداء. بدنا نولّعها اليلة.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Joe "Zorro" Maalouf, our new Savior


After MTV's Anta Hurr(You're free) episode, sexurity forces are storming Tripoli shutting down cinemas that screen erotic content as reported by Al-Safir.
All hail our new savior, Joe "Zorro" Maalouf for cleaning our cities from pornography and masturbation!
Zorro, and ex-Aljarass news reporter, is a professional rumor mill and cheap story sensationalist. As required by Aljaras high standards, he should be an eminent sexologist with a major in scandalogy. I propose him starting a new career as a sexandalogist teaching our younger generations the art of cheapness, وخذوا ما يدهش العالم.
While watching his journalistic marvel, I couldn't help but cry at the peak of his ramble when he stated he had to remove the sound of "Adhan" from the footage and started a religious puritanical crusade on the deviant society urging the Cheikhs to act at once.
I can't imagine that people masturbate in the first place, but people masturbating while others are praying!! Blasphemy! Brothers and sisters, this should end now! Death to the blasphemers in the name of God's messenger Zorro!

We can now all sleep better because we are more free(like the program's title). Free from people masturbating, free from pornography, free from gay sex!! All of that thanks to Zorro our savior.
Our country is sinking in religious war, bigotry, corruption and a man can proudly slap his wife forcing her to please his carnal desires. But hey! at least we got rid of porn and masturbation!

I announce today to be the national porn day, let's all watch as much porn as possible while masturbating. Where the hell are the tissues when you need them!?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Response to Mohamad Sibai and "free speech" supporters


Viewpoint: Please me at any Price
By Mohamad Sibai an angry American after 9/11

I wrote a satire about Mr. Sibai’s article by striking out words and replacing them by others. Those are not my beliefs or views; it is for proving a point. This is a wake up call for people that are defending him under the cover of free speech and a response to him as how a lot of westerners stereotype his religion. Maybe him, and Outlook could see the difference between freedom of speech and hate speech motivated by misinformation and bigotry. Mr. Sibai, as the religious man you are, I hope this response offends you as you offended others.

The other day, I saw a couple holding ands along Hamra Street Times square. Normally I would never look twice, but something was not right. They both One had short hair a long beard, facial hair, and rough voices. The other was all covered by what seemed like a plastic bag. The sight was disturbing. Call me sexist islamophobic, call me whatever you like, I couldn’t get that image out of my head for the whole day. I couldn’t believe what I saw, I know that Lebanon America aims to be an ideal ‘secular’ religiously diverse country, but if this is what ‘secular’ religious diversity is then maybe it’s not such a good idea.

Homosexuality Islam has always been a controversial subject in the world, not just Lebanon America. In the United States some states have legalized sexual marriage Islam while others have outlawed the act. Almost every holy religion has condemned it. The bible States "He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed." (Exodus 22:20)
Judaism also condemns those who commit such an ‘abomination’.

Even if I were to put religions aside, our cultures, logic, morals, and humanity have and hopefully always will condemn such acts whether in public or in private. Some have previously asked the question: ‘Why would God create people like that if he didn’t want us to do it?’ People are not born homosexual Muslim, usually one changes as he is growing from the infant stage up until puberty, some even later than that. This is, according to psychologists, due to certain factors during infancy and puberty (mainly brainwashing) and homosexuality Islam can be treated in various ways.

I have seen the protests all over the world on the news, and it wasn’t something I saw to be logical, or human for that matter. I mean, let’s stop for a minute and say that it was okay to be gay Muslim all over the world and have a chain around plastic bag on a man’s woman’s neck head and body and have him her dragged around, suicide bombing people for no reason. How would that serve mankind any good? It obviously wouldn’t. The pair (if not more) would never have too much offspring, the rate of STDs world population would skyrocket, and any morality sustainability that society still had would disappear amongst a myriad other plights. In that logic, if homosexuality Islam is legalized world-wide, then let’s legalize marijuana as well. If homosexual’s Muslim’s excuse is ‘it’s what makes us happy’ then what will stop others from taking the same stand. Do we want everyone to become an angry suicide bomber?

The point is, religion Christianity has done well in keeping society working well and efficiently in a respectable manner. God Jesus has set the rules for us to abide by, not to make life hard on us, but to make it better and easier.

‘Islam is all about suicide bombers, plastic bag women and angry mobs, I can’t imagine someone killing himself and others because of a promise of women in heaven’ Yakov Smirnoff an unknown comedian.
The lust, the hunger, the addiction. Men hungering for gay virgins and pleasure in heaven are willing to withstand the freezing environment of a metal cell in Russia death by suicide bombing just to please their insides. Is this what the human race has become?